"Fortune vomits on my eiderdown once more." Edmund Blackadder
I've been watching Neil DeGrasse Tyson's 'Cosmos' series with the Rothling. We were watching Dr. Tyson explain event horizons and black holes when my young progeny seriously voiced his belief that our universe was merely the product of a black hole contained in another universe. It's as a good a theory as any, I suppose. Remember when we were all relieved that CERN's experiments *hadn't* ended the Universe? Perhaps we were slightly premature with our happy assumptions. The raging dumpster fire that is 2017AD seems like a suspiciously good argument for an alternative, dystopian, reality.
Meanwhile, besides eating cake, watching Philip K. Dick adaptations on the telly (nothing like a good old-fashioned dystopian scifi to make you realise that we're not quite there yet) and re-reading our Terry Pratchett books, how are we to survive the heaping helpings of outrageous ordure that are continually dumped upon us with depressing regularity? It's exhausting. So severe is my fatigue that I can scarcely consume any cake at all. I find myself quite unable to derive my usual enjoyment from my multitudinous and frivolous diversions. When one is tired of FaceBook, one is tired of life, indeed. This sad state of affairs shows no signs of rapid abatement, so perforce we must accustom ourselves to the new order of things. I think we need some way of prioritising and organising our daily outrage. A guidebook, or handbook of behaviour that we can consult in these times of woe.
I propose that this very blog could serve as such an elysian Enchiridion...a celestially inspired handbook of answers, definitions, rankings, encomiums, denunciations, and advice. Give me your poor, your tired, your huddled masses yearning to be free of the perpetual embarrassment of being an American in the Age of Trump. Not that the rest of the world has much cause to rejoice either. Don't get cocky. We're all surrounded by idiots.
Today, I'm awake unusually early to give you the Outrage-0-Meter of News. Don't expect such lavish attentions every day. I'm normally not on speaking acquaintance with any time period much before noon. Time is just a dimension that has delusions of grandeur. It's largely imaginary. I don't believe in unduly encouraging it. That's why I adore clocks, watches, and any type of timepiece. They help me ignore time so much more precisely.
For much of the World, the pressing issue is Net Neutrality, specifically the imminent threat to lose it. See http://time.com/4770205/john-oliver-fcc-net-neutrality/ for a good overview of what is at stake and how one might register outrage at the proposal. Yes, this is a US issue, but it may effect much of the world and is of vital importance, particularly for the vast majority of us who are not independently wealthy.
In the UK, the possible staggering EU 'divorce' bill is causing consternation amongst the Tories. http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2017/11/20/theresa-may-warned-british-public-will-go-bananas-offers-eu/ Has the PM been warned that the British public 'will go bananas?' over a £40 billion good-bye to the EU? More importantly, should the British public go bananas? I think we're overdue a good, old-fashioned tantrum of epic proportions. We should absolutely go the whole banana...but why stop at the divorce bill? We should be rioting in the streets over the travesty that is our proposed Brexit and demanding that the Leavers honour their mendacious campaign promise to give £350 million to the NHS, which is desperately over-taxed and under-funded by the current government. I've got my trusty Doc Martens, my protest signs with insufferable puns, and my tea flask at the ready. I'll bring cake.
Then there are the daily outrages that have become so commonplace as to run a grave risk of being ignored in their quotidian regularity. Black people in the US are still being wounded, arrested, and even killed, over trifling misdemeanours or 'misunderstandings' by the very people sworn to protect and serve them. The so-called Justice system still fails to punish the offenders a depressing majority of the time. Our deeply un-loved Cheeto-in-Chief continues to spew forth Tweets of such breathtakingly clueless narcissism and immaturity that even most actual toddlers would repudiate them. Julian Assange reminds us, once again, what a self-aggrandizing, entitled, creepy, deceptive, douche he is and always has been. The 'best healthcare system in the world' regularly bankrupts the sick and denies treatment to countless others. These daily events require a basic level of simmering rage that is simply the background radiation of our Brave New World.
I need a Nap and I've not yet finished my morning coffee.
Pace yourselves, Gentle Readers. On the upside, some prolific and unrepentant rapists are actually getting fired, if not yet actually prosecuted. Mugabe was persuaded to resign. They're making a new adaptation of 'Good Omens'. Yay?
Meanwhile, ask me anything.
Do you have to speak to relatives who still support Trump, even if it's Thanksgiving? What if they're dying? Should you make sweet potato or pumpkin pie? What kind of hat is appropriate for rioting in the streets? Can one riot from a chaise longue? Is that Julian Assange's real hair? What do I think of the latest film adaptation of 'Murder on the Orient Express'? Have I caught the Cold That Never Dies at last? Is there anything Trump could do to disillusion his die-hard supporters? What am I thankful for?
